The day nostradamus nodded in approval

Hello Friends

I am back and this, i think is my 99th post.

When I was young, I went to a school. We all did, i suppose. Or is it that my parents tricked me to believe so.  The school i went to, or to be more specific the class which i studied in  were filled with wunderkids, i must say. The kinds who had the capability to disprove Newton’s apple-fell-on-my-head-hence-this-law. Yes, there was a lot of potential there in that batch of 60 geniuses. And the management of school thought that it would be great if they could provide the batch some assistance in deciding the professional life we wanted to thread. And  it was decided that  we will be provided  the excellent guidance of the consultant genius Patrick Pavanansam Franzey.

Patrick Pavanansam Franzey or in short PPF was a sharp man. He was one of those guys who always had no problem listening to people. He is credited to have duly helped three couples ,who went to him with small problems like who will be driving the car , agree on consensual divorce. On asked if it was the right advice to give PPF was found quoting his own modified version of  Shakespeare “Nothing is good or bad, than advice makes it so”.

Patrick Pavanasam was a busy man. So after a lot of persuasion, PPF agreed to take a two hour session for our batch on a Saturday of his choice. Patrick, a self proclaimed astrologer, announced that it will be fourth Saturday of January 2000. The management said “So be it”.

The management was excited at the announcement and they made a lot of attempts to publicize the news. The following day a newspaper read like this “Educational Institute ABCDE becomes the first institute to arrange for consultant to channel students to achieve what they should attain.” The reporter who also works as a plumber during free time goes on to lament the lack of such guidance during his graduation days which made it impossible for him to decide if he has to walk to his college or jog to his college.

Amidst such reports the day arrived, and the first 15 minutes the organizing staff had to spend arguing and convincing the parents that PPF would only consult for their kids and whoever who got their pets along for consulting should duly take them back without any objection. Amidst all this noise PPF did his appearance on a horse and proceeded to the class. It was rumored that PPF took the whole session seated on the horse back, but the management was quick to deny such rumors.

And the session that will shape the future of prospective doctors, scientists, engineers, lawyers, writers, bloggers began thus.

PPF : Hey all,  I have been assigned two hours to tell you guys what you all should pursue. But i have only three words for you. Go to Hell.

<Silence>

PPF: Hahahaha, I was just kidding. I dont want you guys to go to hell. Not before this session gets over. Not that i dont mean you should not go to hell, even if you guys wanted to. Its a free world and you can go anywhere as long as you adhere to the new trespassing laws, although i dont approve of them myself.

< Silence>

PPF: The purpose of me being here is to guide you to be decide what you want to be. But all i can promise you  that at the end of the session you will always be able to make a cup of coffee all by yourself.

<Giggles>

PPF: I want all of you guys to tell me where you see yourself in ten years from now. Any amount of detail would be helpful. But i would prefer you to be precise. I think you in the green shirt, start.

Student One: Hello Mr Patrick Pavanansam Franzey, I would …

PPF: Its not pronounced Franzey , It pronounced F- R-E-Y. Frey as like prey.

Student One: Sorry Mr. Frey. Ten years from now, I think i will be working as a chief architect and managing partner of a very successful builder. We will be handling a lot of projects for instance designing skyscrapers. I would also be submitting my thesis on the modern building technique which will win me credit and world wild fame.

PPF: If you have completed,I would suggest you to be a Doctor. You can sit now. Hey , the guy with specs. Please tell us what will u be doing ten years from now.

Student two : I think i will be getting married…

<Silence>

Miles away, in one silent cemetery in France, a skeleton started nodding its head in approval of whatever being said.

This my friends is the real story of a poor school going teenager whose life changed just because  the prophetical power of a dead seer refused to diminish.

What Darwin didn’t know

It is an intense game of scrabble. The stakes were high because God was one of the players, the other being Gabriel. And it was surprising that God was trailing.  And the tiles were running out fast.  Even Gabriel was a bit tensed about the whole scenario. Despite being an M. A., M.Ed. degree holder from a reputed university, Gabriel was shocked at his success as he knew how good God was at playing with words. The game moved on and finally it was left to God to make the last decisive pick. He had two tiles in hand and there were five remaining to be picked.  He picks all of them and ended up having  y , g , o , b, l,e ,d. Gabriel slowly started smiling at the unexpected win which was around the corner. But out of nowhere,  a miracle happened. Yes, when God is involved what else do you expect.  God spotted the alphabet b and the word gook separated by 4 unoccupied squares  and  God came with his killer word which he somehow arrived at with a lot of math and a lot of permutations of the letters he had. The word was GOBBLEDYGOOK. And the smile on Gabriel’s face slowly disappeared. The game was close. But as always it was God having the last laugh.

Thats when the monkey which was dangling around in a nearby apple tree thought it was the right time to ask a favour of God. And he somehow jumped over right next to the scrabble board scattering all the tiles here and there and spake thus.

Mr God, Congrats on the win.  Sorry about the tiles. GOBBLEDYGOOK, what a word. In case you didn’t notice, i was always supporting you even when you made words like ‘hi’ , ‘bye’ and ‘see’  which in comparison to words like ‘sarcasm’ and ‘allegory’ made duly by your opponent. Even though u peaked at the right time, i personally think it would have been difficult without my moral support. If you had noticed, i am sure you would have, for you are omnipresent. i had thrown little stones at Gabriel in order to distract him. I also tried getting his attention away from the game so that you could try changing the tiles.  Why i am saying all these is that I want a change from my current job of jumping around trees and throwing apples which i am told not to eat.  At times i am surprised at the amount of apples that are wasted every year. I would suggest you to have a better way of handling the whole apple issue. May be kick out everyone who eats the apple. Oh my evil mouth. I wanted to ask something and here i am talking about what to do with apples.  So let me come to what i want. Make me something else. Please. Dont say no.

God was shocked by monkey’s audacity. But he was in a good mood after the win. So thought it would be better to award someone with something. He addressed thus

You want to be something else. Let me see, how about being a teapot or a broom or a laptop. Believe me it will be awesome. hahahaha. Actually i have something better for you. I will make you something which will always complain irrespective of where ever you are put in. You will have less respect for rules and will question the existance of every rule and also question the lack of rule at times. You will also be an explorer who will travel all over the world. You will be proud of yourself for drawing boundaries whenever possible. You start by dividing the place into continents , then countries , then states and even into tiny provinces and finally into houses. You will also draw boundaries between people. You will try to exploit your fellow beings at every available chance. You will be acting busy all the times and will spend more time on watching aimless soaps tele-casted on the idiot box for the nth time. You will spend time talking about trivial stuff like how to stand on your hands, how to imitate a two legged dog, how to ride a bike backwards, how to keep eating for 24 hours for a day and not eat for the next 24 hours. You will also try to spend a lot of money on sending messages to Moon and Mars, when your fellow beings are wanting for one days food. You will be superstitious enough to beleive that the whole world’s future lies in unconclusive lyrics written by a fellow poet who scribbled down whatever he felt on a journey just after being kicked out of his house by his wife. You will try to write a lot of stupidity which will find its way into a blog. You will also fall in love and write incomprehensible literature which will be taught in schools, colleges and also read at mental asylums to scare people. At times, there will be among you some people who will come and try to reason out your origin. You will call his methods and logic as sham and later accept his word as law. I will call you man for now until i get some better name.

And there was man. That was the last day God ever played scrabble. For man, just a few hours after he was formed took all that he could find and moved out in search of a better place. Yes, he did leave behind a goodbye note.

The answer

[Camera Tech] Who the fuck are you?

[Dignam] I’m the guy who does his job.You must be the other guy. –The Departed

Certain questions always zaps the hell out of ones brains. The blood flow to the brain will attain the crescendo. A bit more of blood would have blow off one’s brain. Bad no ? Since majority of us are peace loving people and are aversive to the blowing off brains, the brains of many of us are still intact. But at times, we happen to find one of those types, those who are more than capable into getting one to go that extra mile and emerging victorious. The law of human nature states that such people are more prone to torture people with their queries. One such person is, my best friend and occasional partner in crimes, Silla.

It was a cold morning. The chilled breeze was flowing in. The fan’s motor was assuming the role of a musical instrument and was coming up with periodic, crazy tunes which resembles what comes out of a almost screwed up electric guitar. The perfect setup for a weekend morning, you might suggest. Not if you had seen Silla around in his shorts try his best to disturb me. And i had to succumb to the pressure.

I wake up and find Silla in mood for a conversation, which is dangerous. So i tried maintaining silence for the rest of the time until some one rescues me from the Ameoba like calamity that was waiting to engulf me. Noone turned up and Silla finally spake.

S: Its such a lovely day and i am in a mood of listening. So i will ask you a question and you have to speak on it until something important comes up.

Me: Hmmn O.K. (translates to Oh! God, Why me? )

S: The question in my view is very simple. Which implies that the answer to it has to be complex. So you can keep answering until the moment comes when i am satisfied.

Me : Hmmn sure ( I am doomed.)

S: Who are you ?

Me : What !!!

S : That was the question.

I hate him when he speaks in short sentences. It means a lot of things. It means he has made up his mind about levying the answer. It also says that he is no mood for jokes. And he is thinking at the speed of sound. And in short, I am more like a game set match victim, who realizes that the damn match is over by the time he had warmed up. But i amass all the courage i have and start of with a monologue. I sort of start walking around a bit to add a tinge of panache.

Me : Hmmn… Its tough you know to answer such a question. But let me try. I am the guy who is needs two additional lens to aid in sight. I am the one who assumes a lot of alter egos. I am the guy who gets fascinated by looking at the moon. I am the guy who visualizes that he is walking by the edge of the cliff just by walking along the edge of the footpath. I am the guy who assumes he has a lot of balance and what not. I am the guy who is tired of riding the seesaw. I am the guy who hates flying. I am the guy who is apprehensive about heights. I am the guy who likes being lonely when he is in a group and likes being in a group when he is lonely. I am also the guy who got scant respect for the thing they call symmetry. I am the guy who walks in to work at 11 and leave at 9. Not exactly 9 but at times 8 or 7. I am the guy who wears formals on Fridays and casuals on Mondays. I am the same guy who thinks that one plus one is not always two. Finally, I am the guy who doesn’t like to be asked questions. I prefer to be on the other side of answers.

On this note, I turn around hoping to see the affect that the talk had on Silla. I see him fully asleep,I mean snoring asleep.